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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23906626">You're a Retrograde</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennaLee/pseuds/JennaLee'>JennaLee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Game Grumps</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Facials, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Polyamory, Rough Oral Sex, Sex Toys, Voyeurism</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:40:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23906626</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennaLee/pseuds/JennaLee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It's a strange feeling, Dan's eyes like spotlights on him, making Arin think about every move he makes. Dan's sitting at the edge of his bed, his hands curled in the sheets, his lip between his teeth. His attention feels like a caress. Arin can feel it sweeping across his bare skin. Arin's used to being on stage, on display, but he's never felt like this. He's the center of attention, completely under Dan's thumb, and yet he holds Dan in thrall. </i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dan Avidan/Arin Hanson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>132</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You're a Retrograde</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/pringlesaremydivision/gifts">pringlesaremydivision</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arin likes being in Dan's bedroom, in his bed, sprawled out on the soft white sheets that smell like him. He likes the way the bed is always a little bit unmade whenever Arin comes over, a little unkempt, just like Dan himself. He likes that Dan always wants the lights on, <i>insists</i> on it, always watching Arin's face when he fucks him, like Arin's somehow the best thing he's ever seen. </p><p>Arin likes watching too. Almost as much as he likes Dan on top of him, fucking him slow and deep and steady. He likes how he's learning so much about his best friend, that fucking on the regular hadn't changed their relationship at all except to make it even better. He knows that Dan's not crazy loud in bed, but he likes to hear Arin talk, likes verbal affirmation, even if it's just Arin groaning <i>fuck yes</i> or <i>don't fucking stop</i>. Dan likes to ask a lot of questions and he's been getting better at gaining the confidence to tell Arin what he wants, too, and fuck if that didn't get Arin hot as hell.</p><p>Dan was nervous as hell the first couple of times. Arin had expected as much. Fuck, he had been nervous too, even though anal wasn't exactly something new for him. As it turned out, Dan hadn't been lying when he'd joked about his huge dick. Dan was constantly afraid of hurting Arin, which was kind of adorable but also just a little bit frustrating.  </p><p>Arin knows not to push too far too soon though. It took Dan long enough to get through his own personal hang-ups about having sex with another guy. He's come a long fucking way from where he began and Arin doesn't want to derail things now by telling Dan that he kind of wanted Dan to absolutely fucking wreck him. </p><p>That doesn't mean that the sex they're having now isn't good, though. Right now Dan's got one of Arin's legs up on his shoulder, offsetting the weight by gripping onto Arin's ankle. He's on his knees, upright, leaning back so he can watch himself thrusting in deep. Arin's got one hand on the headboard behind him to brace himself and push down into Dan's thrusts, and jesus fucking <i>Christ</i>, it's good. Dan went overboard with the lube like he always does, and it's wet and messy and exactly how Arin likes it. It's so good that Arin can barely breathe, and he knows that if he started jacking off now he'd be done in ten seconds flat. </p><p>“Arin,” Dan moans, sounding like pure fucking porn. He likes to say Arin's name; that was something else Arin had learned. “Fuck, Arin, you feel so good.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Arin asks stupidly. It's hard to think when he's getting fucked this deep. He meets Dan's gaze and hopes that the look on his face is enough to convince Dan that the feeling was mutual. </p><p>Dan likes what he sees. His eyes flash in a way that makes Arin shiver. “God, you look hot as fuck, babygirl.”</p><p>“You can,” Arin manages. “You can go harder, if you want.”</p><p>“You want me to?”</p><p>Arin nods breathlessly. “Please.”</p><p>Dan sucks in a breath and for a second Arin hopes wildly that Dan will make him beg. Instead he swallows hard and says, “Yeah, fuck, alright.”</p><p>Arin grips the headboard as Dan speeds up, and okay, fuck, he's not going to last like this. Dan groans a little each time he drives in, balls pressed against Arin's ass, and all Arin can do is just fucking take it.</p><p>And he tries. But the hotter he gets, the more he sweats, and his leg starts to slip on Dan's shoulder. Arin tries his best to hold it up for him, but he's being fucked so good that his muscles seem to have forgotten how to work properly. </p><p>“Fuck,” Arin says weakly, trying to hike his leg higher and failing. The rhythm is perfect and he doesn't want it to stop so that they can get into a new position. He looks up pleadingly. “Dan - ”</p><p>“I've got you,” Dan says breathlessly, and he leans forward, shifting his grip on Arin's ankle and grabbing higher up his leg. He leans forward, pressing Arin's thigh towards his chest, and <i>holy fucking shit</i>, his cock slides in impossibly further. Arin's no stranger to having things up his ass, but he's absolutely sure nothing's ever been in him this deep. His thigh muscles immediately start to burn, but he's at the point where the pain is sweet, another layer of sensation. </p><p>Deep down Arin knows that he's easily twice as strong as Dan, just as tall but forty pounds heavier, but right now he feels completely and totally at Dan's mercy. It feels like being drunk.</p><p>Arin opens his mouth to moan but it ends up being a whimper. “Oh my god,” he manages, and his free hand kind of flails at his side and ends up grabbing at Dan's hip. “Oh my <i>God.</i>”</p><p>“That feel good, babygirl? You like that?” Dan murmurs, in that sweet growl that always sends a frisson down Arin's spine. It takes a lot to get Dan to sweat, but his forehead is glistening and his hair is getting plastered to his face. He looks rough and wild, and Arin loves it. Dan's jaw clenches and Arin sees the gleam of his teeth as he gives Arin a roguish look, half-grin, half-snarl. </p><p>Arin's brains are going to leak out of his fucking ears. He loves that stupid fucking pet name. Dan used it affectionately, he knows that, but it was also just a little bit condescending, and it was totally doing it for him. “Yes,” he pants back. “Fuck yeah, you feel so good, fuckin' love it.”</p><p>“You getting close?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Arin shudders and fumbles at his cock. “Yeah, fuck, almost there.”</p><p>“Good, yeah, touch yourself.” Dan's panting now too. He grips Arin's leg harder, his nails just barely digging into the skin. “Let me see you come.”</p><p>The little nip of pain makes Arin's cock pulse in his hand. He strokes himself haphazardly, the sensation so intense that it's bordering on too much, and his body goes tight like a wire. Dan suddenly feels even bigger in him, and Arin realizes belatedly that he's clenching his ass around Dan's cock. </p><p>“Arin, holy fuck,” Dan gasps, and then he's speeding up <i>again</i>, fucking Arin so hard that the impact of his hips actually knocks the air from Arin's lungs. </p><p>Arin can barely move, can barely breathe, can barely even keep his own hand moving on his dick.  His orgasm crashes into him like a fucking freight train and he comes with a strangled cry, shooting so hard that he feels a splash hit him in the chin. </p><p>“Danny,” he groans, the rare nickname just kind of slipping out as he rides the high. “F-fuck - ”</p><p>Dan slams in to the hilt with one last brutal thrust, groaning as he shoots his own load deep inside Arin. The feeling of his cock twitching inside of him stretches Arin's orgasm out, holding him there at the very height of the wave, sweet and perfect and all-encompassing, and by the time it's over Arin feels like a wrung-out washcloth.</p><p>“God, Arin,” Dan says thickly. Arin opens his eyes to see Dan's dazed face staring down at him. They share an amazed look that makes them both laugh shakily. It hits Arin all over again how amazing it was that they had gotten to this point together after years of dancing around their feelings. </p><p>Arin lifts his chin, and Dan kisses him hard before he slips his softening cock free. His arms shake as he lets Arin's leg down. Out of breath, he collapses onto his elbows and leans his forehead against Arin's shoulder, panting against his skin. </p><p>Arin's still feeling shivery, his muscles jumping with the residual aftershocks of his orgasm, but he doesn't really think it's that noticeable until Dan lifts his head and looks at him.</p><p>“Whoa,” he says, with that lazy grin Arin fucking loved. “You okay?”</p><p>“Oh, fuck yeah.” Arin grins back. “Jesus, Dan, I'm gonna feel that all fucking week.”</p><p>Dan's eyes immediately widen with concern. “As in, you'll be sore? Because I know I was a little rough, but – I didn't think – you're okay, right?”</p><p>Arin huffs out a laugh. “Dude,” he says. “Dude.” </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“What do you mean <i>what</i>, that was fucking incredible. I just came so hard I almost shot it into my own mouth.”</p><p>Dan snorts. “Okay, yeah, that was kind of impressive.” Carefully, he dismounts and stretches himself out at Arin's side.</p><p>“It's all about getting enough zinc.” Arin grabs for the washcloths on the nightstand, passing one to Dan and using the other to wipe off his own chin. He mentally thanks himself for remembering to lay out towels beneath them so he didn't have to worry that Dan's cum was starting to slide back out of his ass. </p><p>“I thought it was pineapple.”</p><p>“Nope,” Arin counters. “That's to make it taste good.”</p><p>“I'm pretty sure that's just an urban legend, Arin.”</p><p>“It's fuckin' science, Dan.” </p><p>“Is it?”</p><p>“Of course it is.” Arin leers at him. “I mean, if you wanted to experiment, I could eat a fuckton of it and you can tell me what you think. Not that you've ever complained.” </p><p>Dan flushes. Arin kind of loves that Dan can still get embarrassed, even though he can say some pretty filthy things himself when they're going at it.</p><p>“Speaking of food,” Dan says hastily. “You wanna order something? We sort of forgot about dinner.”</p><p>“I'm gonna need to shower first.” Arin makes a face. His hair is wet and limp from sweat, and his pits feel swampy and gross. “You wanna come with?”</p><p>Dan doesn't answer. Arin glances over to see him frowning. “What's up?”</p><p>“Did I do that to your leg?”</p><p>“Do what?” Arin looks down. “Oh.”</p><p>Dan's fingernails are clearly imprinted into his skin, little red crescents just shy of bleeding. Dan's finger marks are faint, but visible. </p><p>“Sorry,” Dan says, chagrined. “I didn't think I grabbed you that hard.”</p><p>“Don't worry about it. I bruise easy,” Arin says lightly. </p><p>Dan sits up suddenly. “You know, you can tell me to slow down, you know? I kind of lost control – it's just, with you fucking squeezing around me like that, I just - ”</p><p>“Dan. I'm not made out of fucking glass, okay, you won't break me.”</p><p>“Okay,” Dan says, uncertainly. </p><p>Arin groans and kisses Dan's stupid face. “Some people are into rough shit, you know.”</p><p>Dan's face does a few interesting things. “Some people?” he asks carefully.</p><p>Arin hadn't planned on introducing the idea to Dan quite yet, but he can't just go around letting Dan think that he had done something wrong after he'd just fucked Arin's brains out that good. “Yeah. Like me, sometimes.”</p><p>“Oh.” Dan blinks a few times and nods, looking dazed. He pushes his hair out of his eyes and winds a curl around one finger, and Arin can practically see his brain struggling to find something to say in response. </p><p>To give him time, Arin sits up and says, “So how about that shower?”</p><p>Dan's shower is roomy, with a giant rain-effect showerhead that's big enough to let them both stand under the spray without fighting over it, like they have to at Arin's house. Dan doesn't subscribe to Arin's belief that cold showers were healthy and energizing, and he turns the knob sharply to the left until steam fills the air. The heat makes them both groan. </p><p>Dan tilts his face up into the spray and rolls his shoulders out with a look of pure relaxation. With his hair wet and flat to his head, his features are more pronounced, emphasizing his strong jaw and sensual mouth. Arin, staring at him, is reminded all over again how fucking lucky he is. Arin goes all pink and blotchy in the shower, but Dan looks like a fucking merman or something. And yet somehow, he still looks at Arin like he can't get enough of him.</p><p>Once they're both clean, Dan brings it up again.</p><p>“So, it...you liked it, then? The, um.” One of Dan's hands settles on Arin's hip and slides down toward the fingernail marks on his leg. In the dim light of the shower, the redness is less noticeable. “Is it like a pain thing?” He sounds genuinely curious. </p><p>“Not exactly,” Arin begins slowly. Before Dan can start to internally panic, he adds, “I didn't not like that part. But what I meant by rough stuff, it's more...feeling helpless, you know? Or like I'm just being used. Controlled. I like that shit. It was kinda hard to move when you were pinning my leg like that.”</p><p>“And that was a good thing?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Dan absorbs this for a minute. He squeezes Arin's hip almost mindlessly. With the air of one confessing something terribly immoral, he says, low and quiet, “I like that you make me feel like I'm stronger than you.”</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Arin can't help a grin. “Like how?”</p><p>Dan almost looks embarrassed. “I mean, logically, I know that you could pick me up and throw me. But when we're in bed, you – you look at me like I could do anything to you.”</p><p>Well, fuck. Arin feels his dick perking up at that. Dan's body pressed close against his, naked and slippery-wet, doesn't exactly help discourage it. “You like thinking about that, huh?”</p><p>Dan sucks in a breath. “Yeah. Yeah, maybe I do.”</p><p>“Because you could, you know,” Arin murmurs, sliding his hands up Dan's arms, feeling the muscles jump. “You could bend me over any time you want to and just fuck me, and I'd love it.”</p><p>“Jesus, Arin.”</p><p>The thick lust in Dan's voice lets Arin know that he can push just a little further. “I like it when you grab my hair. I like it when you tell me what to do.” He tilts his neck back, and Dan accepts the invitation, leaning in to kiss him there.</p><p>“How are you so fucking hot?” Dan groans against his skin. He draws a shuddering breath. “Fuck, I like that too. I like when you do what I say. You're so fuckin' eager to please.”</p><p>Arin's feeling a little mindless, a little dangerous. “There's nothing wrong with being gentle sometimes,” he says. “There's nothing wrong with liking vanilla shit like you always say you do. But I want you to know that you don't always have to take it slow with me. You can tell me to do anything you want. Or make me.”</p><p>But that makes Dan pause, pulling back. The spell had broken, at least for a moment. He holds Arin at arm's length, studying him with his brow furrowed. “I don't want to actually make you do anything.” </p><p>“I know you don't,” Arin says patiently. “But pretending can be fun.”</p><p>“I'm afraid of hurting you.”</p><p>“You could make me beg,” Arin tells him, and his head is growing fuzzy at the thought of it. “If that makes you feel better.” He draws Dan back against him. Arin's cock rubs against Dan's hip and Arin ruts against him.</p><p>Dan groans, angling their bodies until their cocks slide up against each other, hot and slick. “<i>Arin.</i>”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Dan's fingers dig into his shoulders. “You're making me want to fuck you again but I feel like I might pass out if I don't eat something. And I can hear your stomach fucking growling.”</p><p>Arin barks out a laugh and blinks the water from his eyelashes. “Rain check, then?”</p><p>Dan pauses, and something daring comes over him. He grabs Arin's wrist and pulls his hand where he wants it to go. “After you take care of this,” he says, dropping his voice to a growl.</p><p>Arin leans against the wall and jerks him off, the shower tiles cool against his back. Dan keeps his hand on Arin's wrist, not directing his movement but not letting him go. By the time Dan's cum spills over Arin's hand and down to the shower floor, Arin's a mess. Dan returns the favour with his talented hands, and it doesn't take him long to bring Arin to the edge.</p><p>Something gleams in Dan's eyes as he watches Arin fall apart with a shaky groan. </p><p>For the rest of the night, Arin keeps catching a certain expression on Dan's face. He looks pensive, curious, like he's mulling over new ideas in his head. </p><p>Arin bites his tongue, remembering not to push. There was always next time. </p><p>**</p><p>It's a while before Arin can have Dan to himself again. And that's okay, they're both busy, and Arin sees plenty of Dan at work. They get to cuddle up on the Grump couch and laugh together, and that's more than enough to tide them over for the time being. Arin thinks sometimes that he can hear the difference in the episodes they've recorded since they first kissed. They've always been in sync as comedians, but Arin thinks they laugh louder and more often. Dan teases him more, and Arin has a harder time pretending to get angry when he plays like shit. It's hard to get annoyed with a game when Dan's cuddled up next to him, hand on Arin's thigh.</p><p>Arin can tell that what he said hasn't left Dan's head. That curious look is still there. Maybe it's good that they're so busy. Maybe it'll give Dan more time to work himself up when he's alone, thinking about everything Arin said. Maybe it'll give him some courage.</p><p>In the meantime, there's an undercurrent of tension in the air. Arin feels it whenever Dan looks at him. When their eyes meet, a bright little spark jumps between them. Arin's getting butterflies again whenever they brush past each other at the Grump space, just like all those months ago after their first kiss. Dan's gaze is always trailing after him. Arin can feel it. </p><p>Dan calls him at home one night, a few days after their night together. Arin's sprawled sideways across his bed, watching TV, when his phone vibrates from the nightstand. He's got a cat on his chest and Suzy's head on his thighs, comfortable and warm. She's closer, and she does him the favour of craning her neck to see the name on the screen.</p><p>“It's Danny,” Suzy informs him, and sits up with a knowing little grin. “Do you two need some private time?” </p><p>She'd been so good about that. They didn't have to feel awkward about anything; they were too close for petty bullshit. </p><p>“Maybe,” Arin admits. Dan didn't often call him at this hour. “No, don't get up, I can go downstairs.”</p><p>“Stay,” Suzy says, rising. “I was about to go down to the kitchen anyway, see if we have any more of those crackers. I'm hungry.”</p><p>Otto knows the word <i>hungry.</i> He leaps off of Arin's chest and trots after Suzy, a stout little cloud with his fluffy tail perked up, no doubt hoping to beg for a treat. He disappears around the corner as Arin wriggles himself up into a sitting position to answer the call.</p><p>“Sorry for calling so late,” Dan says by way of greeting. “I meant to call earlier, but the shoot ran a lot later than we expected.”</p><p>It takes Arin a second to remember Dan and Brian's video in the making. “It's barely eleven thirty,” Arin points out. “No big deal. It's not like I'm ever asleep before midnight.”</p><p>“Right, yeah. You two are night owls.” Dan pauses. “Where's the Suze at? Tell her I say hi.”</p><p>“She's just grabbing a snack downstairs. I'll tell her when she gets back.” Arin doesn't miss the significance of the question. “Why, what's up?”</p><p>“Nothing. Um, nothing, really. I miss you. I was thinking about you.”</p><p>“Were you?” Arin likes a flustered Dan. “Anything in particular?”</p><p>“The other night, when you slept over.”</p><p>“Mmm. I'm still thinking about that too.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Oh yeah. I think about it every time I sit down.”</p><p>“<i>Arin.</i>” Dan sounds shocked.</p><p>“What, it's true, we talked about this. I like it. Besides, it's not like it's really sore any more. I can just feel it.”</p><p>Dan hesitates for only half a second. “What does it feel like?”</p><p>“I dunno.” Arin shifts his legs and considers the feeling. “Like after you work out really hard, a couple days later after you heal up a bit, you know how you can still just tell which muscles you worked on? It's like that. I can just tell you were in there.” </p><p>Arin can actually hear Dan swallow. “That's – that's kind of – that's good. Shit, that's hot, Arin. Fuck.”</p><p>Arin laughs, loud enough to rouse Mochi from his perch on the pillow behind him. “Tell me what part you were thinking about.”</p><p>He's expecting more stuttering, more fumbling for words, but Dan surprises him. “When you said you like it when I tell you what to do,” he says, all his words rushed together. Arin waits for him to finish, grinning already. “Does that, um, are there – rules to that, or just, in general?”</p><p>“No, you can't make me let you skip the Monday meeting.”</p><p>Dan laughs. The joke eases the tension, and he sounds more sure of himself when he says, “You know what I mean. So when you come over next weekend, can I ask – can I tell you to do something for me?”</p><p>“Well yeah,” Arin says easily. “Didn't I tell you? You don't have to ask permission. Kind of ruins the fun.”</p><p>“Yeah, I get that, but – I want you to bring something with you.”</p><p>“Bring something?” Arin's intrigued. “Like what?”</p><p>“Yeah, um. Yeah. Like. One of your, you know.” Dan drops his voice like he's not alone in his house. “Your toys.”</p><p>“Oh, dude, fuck yeah, I just got this sweet collectible Mega Man action figure from the nineties - ”</p><p>That brings another round of laughter from Dan. “Oh, my God, shut up, you know what I mean.”</p><p>“You're right. We should have a lightsaber duel instead.”</p><p>“I mean one of your – Arin, god damn it. One of your – butt toys.”</p><p>Arin laughs until it hurts.</p><p>“Arin,” Dan protests. “What's so funny? I know you have them.”</p><p>“Butt toys?” Arin repeats. The phrase is so goddamn funny coming out of Dan's mouth in that shy, hesitant tone. “<i>Butt toys?</i>”</p><p>“What the fuck else would you call them?”</p><p>“I dunno. What are you talking about? Dildos? Anal beads? Butt plugs? Butt plugs with furry tails?”</p><p>“Arin, I swear - ”</p><p>“Okay, okay. Sorry.” Arin grins and switches the phone to his other ear. He's desperately curious about what's going through Dan's mind. “Uh, but I do need you to be more specific.” </p><p>“Something that you put in your butt for pleasure, okay, I don't know. You never gave me details. You've just said before that you have things.”</p><p>“I get that,” Arin says, amused. “And I do have things that go up my butt. But does it matter which one?”</p><p>“How many do you <i>have</i>?” </p><p>“Not that many,” Arin admits. “I don't have a fuckin' collection or something. But, uh, yeah. I have a few. A lot of things can fit under the category of <i>butt toy.</i> They come in a lot of varieties.”</p><p>Dan says, “Huh,” like he'd never thought about that. A few seconds go by, and Arin's about to offer further details when Dan finally says, “Do you have a favourite? Like...one that you like using the most when you're by yourself?”</p><p>Arin doesn't even hesitate. “Oh yeah.”</p><p>“Bring that one.” Dan's voice steadies. “Whatever it is, if you like it – bring it.”</p><p>“Alright,” Arin says easily. It wasn't really anything super kinky, but then again, this was Dan. Arin was just glad that he was trying. “What, you wanna use it on me?”</p><p>“Something like that,” Dan answers vaguely, but he's a terrible liar. </p><p>Arin thinks about calling him out on it and then decides that he'd rather have the surprise.</p><p>“Suzy's coming back.” He can hear her on the stairs. “I'll tell her you said hi. I'll see you on Monday, okay?”</p><p>“See you then,” Dan echoes. “I love you.”</p><p>“Love you too, Danny.”</p><p>Suzy catches the exchange and the warmth in Arin's eyes. After he hangs up, she says, “You guys are so cute.”</p><p>And when Arin snorts, she raises a hand and says, “I don't even want to know, do I?”</p><p>Arin helps himself to the bowl of crackers. “Probably not.”</p><p>**</p><p>It's late on Friday by the time Arin's able to head over to Dan's place for their weekend together. The houses next to Dan's are all black and silent, but the big bay window at the front of Dan's place is aglow, a warm beacon in the darkness. </p><p>As Arin pulls up, he thinks he sees a silhouette move behind the curtains. A sliver of bright light appears, like Dan's peering out to see if it's Arin's car swerving around the end of the cul-de-sac. </p><p>Dan had been waiting up for him. Arin gets another wave of butterflies, fizzy and pleasant. </p><p>The door opens before Arin gets all the way up the porch stairs. Dan looks particularly gorgeous, standing there with the light behind him, throwing the angles of his face into sharp relief. He's wearing pajama pants and an old shirt, his hair messily tied back, and Arin hopes that Dan's as ready as he is, because <i>fuck</i>, he looks good. Arin wants to jump him right there in the doorway.</p><p>Dan takes Arin's bag like a gentleman so Arin can shrug out of his hoodie and hang it by the door. Arin doesn't bring much – he doesn't have to anymore, not since he'd started keeping a few extra pairs of clothes and his own toothbrush at Dan's house. But Dan had asked him to bring a certain something, and Arin had done so eagerly.</p><p>“I didn't forget,” Arin says as he catches Dan eyeing the bag. “Don't worry.”</p><p>“I wasn't worried. I mean, you're here. That's all I really care about.” Dan hugs him, the soft intimate kind of hug that they couldn't always get away with at the office. </p><p>As much as their employees were like family, neither of them were ready to explain that maybe all of the flirtacious jokes weren't really jokes anymore. Maybe they would never be ready. Maybe some already knew, or suspected. Probably they suspected. But it didn't matter. For now, it was their secret, and it was nobody else's business.</p><p>“Fuck, I've missed you,” Dan murmurs, and kisses Arin's ear.  </p><p>“I can tell.” Arin feels Dan's hardness through his thin pants and wonders briefly if Dan had been working himself up before he'd gotten there, sitting on his couch and thinking of him. The thought arouses Arin, makes him press his hips forward to rub his own rapidly stiffening dick against Dan's. </p><p>They kiss for a while, right there in the foyer. Dan's holding him tight, breathing hard through his nose as he deepens the kiss. His hands feel huge on Arin's back and his beard is rough on Arin's face. His hips move in little pulses and there's already a wet spot on the front of his pants. </p><p>Arin's mind starts to drift, floating dreamily into that pleasant submissive state that Dan can get him in so easily. He runs his hands up Dan's biceps and squeezes at the small but firm muscles. He loves Dan's arms. He loves the way Dan flexes for him whenever Arin touches them.</p><p>Dan's arms slide down Arin's back, his long fingers finding their way under them hem of Arin's shirt. The feeling of his touch against Arin's bare skin is electric. Arin gasps, hips rolling, and Dan moves his hand down, dipping into the loose waistband of his sweatpants. </p><p>“You're not wearing underwear,” Dan suddenly accuses, breaking the kiss to laugh.</p><p>“Whoops,” Arin says breezily. “Must have forgot.”</p><p>“You forgot? Yeah fuckin' right.” </p><p>“Would I lie to you, Daniel?” Arin protests, all faux innocence. </p><p>“You would, don't give me that shit.” Dan's feeling bold. His hand shoves further down the back of Arin's pants to get a handful of his bare ass. Arin moans as Dan squeezes. </p><p>“What's the point of wearing underwear when they're just gonna come off right away? I only put on pants for the drive here.”</p><p>Dan buries his face into Arin's neck and grips his upper arm with his free hand. “You're kind of a slut for me, aren't you, babygirl?”</p><p>Arin's cock pulses and for a second he's lost for words. He's never heard Dan call anyone a slut. He's never been called a slut, unless it was for a joke. He's not expecting the word to hit him so hard, making his heart race.</p><p>“Dan,” he gasps, and then he feels Dan's teeth nip at his pulse point. “Fuck, Danny.”</p><p>Dan groans, and his hand withdraws from Arin's pants. He leans back and pushes Arin to arms' length. “Grab your bag,” he orders, his voice rough. “Come upstairs with me.”</p><p>Arin scrambles to obey, his cock heavy and throbbing between his legs. </p><p>In Dan's room, the lights are turned down to a soft glow and the covers are already turned back. There's lube set out, and towels, and a candle burning on the dresser. Arin sets the bag at the foot of the bed and gives Dan a questioning look. “You want to see it?”</p><p>Dan's pupils are huge and dark. He nods wordlessly.</p><p>Arin pulls out the old dented box he'd found to transport the toy.</p><p>Dan had told him to bring his favourite toy. The choice was easy. Arin didn't exactly have a hundred to choose from. There was one decently sized dildo, pearl-pink with veins, that fit into Suzy's harness, and a vibrator so strong that Arin could feel in his teeth. He had a pretty traditional-looking plug and a smaller dildo that could suction-cup onto his shower wall. But the one Arin brought was one that he'd gotten on a whim, and after one long evening alone with himself, it had brought him to a shuddering, shaking, hands-free orgasm. It was sharply curved and smooth, swelling slightly into two bumps along the shaft, with a fat head and tapered base, and at the part at the end that flared out again fit nicely in Arin's hand. It was easy for him to grip and move it in and out.</p><p>“This is your favourite?” Dan asks, watching Arin hold the toy. </p><p>“Yeah. By a long shot. It always gets me off.”</p><p>“It's a weird shape.”</p><p>“It's to hit your prostate.” Arin traces the curve. “You know how I told you how to crook your fingers when you have them in me?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Dan swallows. “And of course it's pink,” he adds with a nervous laugh.</p><p>“Hot pink.”</p><p>“Your favourite.” Dan glances between the toy and Arin's face. “Fuck, that thing's been in your ass.”</p><p>“Fuck yeah it has.” Arin strokes the length of it, pushing the thick head through the ring of his thumb and forefinger. “It's not as big as you, but it feels pretty intense.”</p><p>Dan bites his lip. “Fuck, Arin.”</p><p>Arin offers it to him, not really knowing what else to do with it. Dan just sets it aside and pushes Arin against the wall to kiss him. </p><p>“So I want,” Dan starts, mumbling against Arin's mouth. “I want to watch you use it. I want to see how you do it.”</p><p>Arin's breath hitches and his stomach does something weird but pleasant. “You just want to watch?”</p><p>“I like watching you,” Dan says, and the heat in his voice sets Arin on fire. “I want to watch you make yourself feel good.”</p><p>“What about you?”</p><p>“We have all night. I can wait. I just – I think about this a lot. When I'm alone, sometimes, I think about it, when I'm jerking off.”</p><p>“Really?” Arin's intrigued.</p><p>“Yeah. Ever since you told me about fingering yourself, and using toys sometimes.” Dan draws in a shuddering breath. “I just think about you, in your bed, just fucking – pumping a big toy in and out of yourself, moaning, looking so fucking hot. Just totally lost in what you're doing, fuck, wanting your ass fucked so bad, and you can't wait for me.”</p><p>Arin blinks. “Jesus, Dan.”</p><p>Dan wets his dry lips. “And when you said that I could – that I could tell you what to do. That you'd do whatever I wanted. That's what I thought of first. Like not even putting on a show for me. Just you fucking yourself with a dildo, or whatever you call that thing.”</p><p>It was so <i>Dan.</i> Lights on, eyes drinking in every detail, focused on Arin's pleasure. A memory comes back to Arin suddenly – their first time, in Arin's house, where Dan had been clumsy and nervous and Arin had fingered himself open, to show Dan how easy it was and how much he liked it. Dan had watched him, frozen, mouth open, until Arin moaned his name. And from there, Dan couldn't get enough. </p><p>“I can do that,” Arin says, warming to the idea. The way Dan's looking at him is getting him hot as fuck. “Fuck yeah.”</p><p>“Good,” Dan says, and shoves his hands up Arin's shirt, all clumsy and eager. Once it's off, he pushes Arin back towards the bed until Arin lets himself fall back on the mattress. </p><p>Dan's on top of him faster than Arin can blink, shirtless himself now, his dick tenting his thin pajama pants as he straddles Arin's thighs. With one tug, Arin's sweatpants are down his thighs, baring everything.</p><p>“Easy access,” Arin grins, and then gasps as Dan grabs his wrists and pins them over his head.</p><p>“Just like you intended.”</p><p>Arin squirms a little, just enough to make Dan hold him tighter. “Just making it easy in case you decided to bend me over your couch as soon as I walked in the door.”</p><p>“Is that what you were hoping for?”</p><p>“I wouldn't have complained.”</p><p>“I knew it.” Dan tries to get both of Arin's wrists in one hand and reaches down to wrap the other around Arin's cock. “Maybe next time.”</p><p>Arin thrusts up into Dan's hand. Dan strokes him, slow and languid and teasing, but his hand doesn't stay there long. He trails his hand down to cup Arin's balls, and when his fingers dip behind, Arin can't help but try to angle his hips up to direct them where he wants to be touched. </p><p>“Oh yeah?” Dan murmurs, pressing the pads of his fingers against Arin's taint. “You just can't wait to be filled up, can you?”</p><p>“I've been waiting for like a fuckin' week.”</p><p>“A week? Is that how long it's been, since you've fucked yourself?”</p><p>“About that. Yeah.”</p><p>“Were you imagining that it was me?”</p><p>Arin has to breathe in deep. “Yeah, I was.”</p><p>Dan squeezes his wrist. “Did you come?”</p><p>“Like a fucking geyser.”</p><p>“Show me.” Dan lets go of Arin's wrists and sits back. “Show me how you do it to yourself when you're alone.”</p><p>Arin sits up slowly, feeling the pressure of Dan's gaze in a way that leaves him feeling exposed, on the spot. It's a strange feeling, Dan's eyes like spotlights on him, making Arin think about every move he makes. Dan's sitting at the edge of his bed, his hands curled in the sheets, his lip between his teeth. His attention feels like a caress. Arin can feel it sweeping across his bare skin. Arin's used to being on stage, on display, but he's never felt like this. He's the center of attention, completely under Dan's thumb, and yet he holds Dan in thrall. </p><p>He thinks about trying to make it sexy, going slow and drawing everything out, but Dan had said he didn't want a show. Well then. Arin just kicks his pants the rest of the way off and dumps them over the edge of the bed. He reaches for the lube and pumps out enough to coat his fingers. He can't look at Dan's face when he spreads his legs, can't handle the way he can hear Dan's breath come faster just from looking at Arin.</p><p>It takes a little bit of fumbling. It's hard to get a comfortable angle that doesn't strain his wrists.  Arin ends up shoving two pillows behind him so he can lay back, propped up against the headboard. Having his upper body raised up gives him better reach. Dan is staring right at him as Arin bends his knees and spreads his thighs wide. The feeling of being so exposed makes Arin tremble.  </p><p><i>Do it like you're alone,</i> Arin thinks. He doesn't usually take much time fingering himself. Just enough to work him open, get everything nice and slick, make sure the toy doesn't hurt. The first touch of his fingertip against his hole makes him twitch, gasping a little at the cool lube on his hot skin. Arin swallows, rubs his fingers over his opening once, twice. Dan sucks air through his teeth, and Arin presses the tip of his index finger inside. </p><p>“Fuck,” Arin bites out as it slips in easily. It's always easy when it's his own fingers. He pushes in to the first knuckle, takes another breath, and then keeps going to the hilt. He already knows that he can handle more. He's still tight, he can feel the pressure of his walls around him, but the second finger doesn't feel like much more. Arin groans and pushes them both in deep, and <i>fuck</i>, okay, that's good. The pads of his fingers brush up against his prostate. Arin moans again and presses down just hard enough to get that shocking warmth deep in his pelvis, a little hint of that indescribable pressurized pleasure, and withdraws, focusing on stretching his hole. </p><p>He glances at Dan's face once, then closes his eyes and scissors his fingers apart.</p><p>“Jesus,” Dan groans quietly, and Arin feels a sharp thrill as he pictures how it must look to him. Can Dan see him stretching wide, see right up inside him when he spreads his fingers like this? He's never looked at himself when he does it. Arin keeps his eyes closed tight and does it again, holding the stretch until his fingers hurt, and fuck, Dan moans again. </p><p>It's different with Dan watching. Arin can't lose himself in it the way he normally does. His hands don't feel like his own. Dan's gaze prickles on his skin, keeping Arin rooted firmly in reality. He pumps his fingers in and out, face flushing at the wet squelch of the lube. He's fingered himself a hundred times and it's never felt this filthy. There's a bit of self-consciousness – it's hard not to feel self-conscious with everything on display and Dan watching so keenly – but Arin's kind of into it. He didn't think this would feel so intense.</p><p>“You look so good, Ar'.” Dan's voice is thick with lust. “This is – this is crazy hot, you have no idea. God, look at you, you're so gorgeous.”</p><p>Arin's cock throbs at his words. He glances at Dan's face again, that fucking gorgeous rugged face, and something like pride floods him. He's doing a good job – he's doing exactly what Dan wants. Doing what he'd been told to do.</p><p>“Mmm, yeah,” he breathes back. “Fuck yeah, feels good.”</p><p>Suddenly, Arin can't wait any more. His fingers aren't enough to satiate the empty ache inside him - the pure desire to be stretched and filled and <i>fucked</i>. </p><p>Arin tugs his hand free, wipes off the excess lube, and grabs for the toy.</p><p>“Oh, yeah,” he hears Dan breathe, to himself, like he's watching porn. “Fuck, let's see it.”</p><p>Arin takes a deep breath. He feels wet inside already from all the lube he'd used on his fingers, but he adds more, rubbing his hand over the bumps and curves of the toy from tip to base. When it's slick all over, he reaches down between his legs again and nudges the fat head against his dripping hole. </p><p>“Oh shit.” The huge blunt pressure of it makes Arin break a sweat. He makes his body relax, waits for it. He knows not to rush. He knows that his body will give. He just has to push, lightly at first, applying more and more pressure, wiggling back and forth gently.</p><p>Dan inhales sharply as Arin's hole widens and takes it in. “Holy fucking shit,” he blurts. Arin drowns him out with a deep groan.</p><p>Arin's toes curl as the rest of it slides in easily, smooth and sweet and so fucking good. The flared base presses up flush against his taint. Arin holds it there, rocking his hips and using his muscles to work it back and forth in him until the head pushes up hard into his prostate.</p><p>“Aaah, ah, fuck,” Arin gasps out. He'll never get used to the feeling of having his prostate stimulated directly, having something hard and firm just nestled there. It's different from having Dan's cock sliding up against it. Getting fucked feels like little pulses of electricity mingled with friction. But this toy is made for direct contact. Arin can barely stand it. It always feels like his brain is short circuiting. Like fireworks behind his eyes, electricity slamming through his groin and stomach. </p><p>It's too much to handle. Arin's thighs are shaking and his mouth is hanging open and he's going to start fucking drooling. Shuddering, Arin pulls the toy out and drives it back in, finding a gentler angle. The friction is so good that he does it again, and again. </p><p>“Fuck, you love that, don't you?” Dan groans. </p><p>Arin doesn't answer, not in words. He just lets the sounds come out of him, not caring how embarrassing they are. He feels the trickle of warmth as his cock twitches and starts to leak down his shaft. He strokes his hand up and down his shaft as he pumps the toy in and out, finding a rhythm that works, and oh yeah, he fucking loves this.</p><p>Arin tries to go slow, to be mindful of his movements. He wants this to be good for Dan, wants to live up to all his fantasies. But it doesn't work. Arin's always damn greedy when he fucks himself. He changes it up, sliding it deep, pulling it back and thrusting shallowly, panting open-mouthed. His head falls back, thunking against the headboard. When his forearm starts to burn with the strain he stops and lets go. His body holds the toy in all the way and Arin uses his hips and thighs to bounce down onto it.</p><p>Arin doesn't even realize that the sounds coming out of him have turned to broken words, pleas and curses and whimpers. He sounds like a fucking slut. Fuck, he is a slut, Dan was right. </p><p>Arin squeezes his eyes shut and cries out brokenly, “<i>Dan</i>, oh Dan, fuck, please.”</p><p>“Arin,” Dan whispers. Somehow it cuts through Arin's volume. “Fuck, Arin, look at me.”</p><p>Arin does.</p><p>Jesus <i>fuck.</i> Dan's eyes are feral, two dark pools of pure want. His mouth is open and he's literally trembling. His cock is flushed nearly purple, huge and swollen, but he's not letting himself touch. Arin groans, fucking himself faster, thinking about Dan's cock plunging into him instead, filling him up so deep. Fuck, he must look absolutely obscene, his cock leaking and his hand working the toy into his ass, eyes rolling back as he moans. The image of Dan staring at him like he wants to eat him up is burned on his retinas.</p><p>He's not going to fucking last.</p><p>“Danny,” Arin forces out in a whimper. “Dan, I want – I'm going to come.”</p><p>“Not yet.”</p><p>It sounds like an order. Arin freezes, shuddering, ass clenching forlornly around the toy.</p><p>Dan gets up on his knees and crawls up the bed, hunger in his eyes. He raises himself up to grab the headboard and swings one leg over Arin's torso, looming over him. His cock bounces temptingly, stiff and shining wet at the tip. </p><p>Arin strains forward, eager, but Dan pushes him back against the headboard.</p><p>“Stay,” Dan tells him roughly. “I want – I'm going to fuck your mouth. I want you to come with your lips wrapped around my cock.”</p><p>Arin closes his eyes and nods blindly. “Please. Fuck, please, do it, fuck my mouth.” </p><p>“Fuck, Arin.” Dan shuffles closer until his cock brushes against Arin's face. Arin wets his lips and opens his mouth, waiting. Dan takes himself in hand and just goes for it, pushing between Arin's lips, heavy on his tongue. </p><p>Arin makes a muffled moan as Dan fills his mouth. He's being overwhelmed with sensation, hot and prickly all over with sweat, the musky taste of Dan's cock and the pressure of the toy inside him almost too much to handle together. He grabs for the base of the toy, tugging it halfway out just to give his overused body a moment of respite.</p><p>“Don't take it out.” Maybe Dan had felt Arin moving, or maybe he could just read Arin's thoughts.  “Keep fucking yourself for me. Don't take it out, not even if you come. Not until I finish. You're so fucking hot like this, both of your holes stuffed full.”</p><p>Arin's eyes go wide. He looks up at Dan, honestly shocked. God, Arin hadn't known that Dan was even capable of saying such filthy things. But it's totally fucking doing it for him. He sucks harder, plunges the toy back in deep, and Dan starts to fuck his mouth for real.</p><p>“There you go,” Dan groans. “Fuck, look at you, Arin, you fuckin' love this.”</p><p>Arin gags a little as Dan pushes to the back of his throat, but he can take it. It's true, he fucking loves being treated like this. When he moans around Dan's cock, Dan swears and speeds up, pushing deeper into Arin's throat. Arin gags again, a thick wet noise, and when he goes to suck in air through his nose he realizes that he <i>can't</i>. </p><p>“Too much?” Dan asks huskily, pulling back. </p><p>Arin swallows a mouthful of saliva. He's drooling down his chin and he doesn't care. “I'm good. I can take it. I want it.”</p><p>“Good.” Dan presses back into Arin's willing, eager mouth. “That's my good girl.”</p><p>Arin's head spins and he finds himself fucking his ass to Dan's rough pace. Dan's weight is pinning his upper body in place. His hand plunges into Arin's hair, grabbing a fistful and using it to pull Arin forward into his thrusts. </p><p>Arin can't think, can't breathe, can't do anything but take what Dan gives him, can't move at all except to keep fucking himself like Dan had ordered. Arin can't – he can't hold back anymore.</p><p>He makes a desperate noise when he comes, a drawn-out groan, choking wetly on Dan's dick and loving every fucking second of it. Wave after wave rolls through him, pure white-hot pleasure. He's not even touching himself, just using the heel of his palm to grind the head of the toy against his prostate, milking every last drop from his cock.</p><p>“Oh, Arin,” Dan groans. “That's it, that's so good, isn't it? You look so good when you come for me.”</p><p>Arin sags back against the pillows, twitching. Dan's hand is still in his hair, keeping his head in place. He'd eased up his brutal pace, but he hasn't stopped rocking into Arin's mouth. </p><p>Arin, realizing that he's not doing much except drooling mindlessly around Dan's cock, tries to help. His lips are numb and he feels weak and useless, but he wants to please. God, he just wants to be good for Dan. He moves his tongue and sucks clumsily, feeling his muscles twitching around the toy in his ass and listening to Dan's moans get louder and louder. </p><p>Dan's cock swells, and Arin sucks harder, hollowing his cheeks. Any second, now. Arin's waiting for the familiar taste of Dan's cum to fill his mouth, but suddenly Dan pulls out and lets go of Arin's hair.</p><p>Confused, Arin opens his eyes. It takes him a second to focus. And then he sees Dan's hand, moving in a blur over his shaft, and – oh. He closes his eyes again. </p><p>“That's right, babygirl, you know what I want.” Dan slides a hand under his chin, holding him in place, fingers pushing into Arin's cheeks until he opens his mouth again. </p><p>Arin's never thought about doing this or being on the receiving end of it. He hates shit on his face. Dan knows that, and he's going ahead anyway, taking what he wants because he can.</p><p>“Good girl,” Dan whispers to him, and then he gasps. A hot splash hits Arin across the cheek, and another spurt gets his chin, and another lands across his tongue. Arin swallows twice, opens for more, and Dan rests the head of his dick against Arin's mouth, the last few weak spurts dribbling over Arin's lips and down his chin. </p><p>Dazed, Arin opens his eyes and stares up at Dan. Dan stares back, panting, cock still nudging insistently at Arin's lips. </p><p>Arin holds the eye contact as he flicks out his tongue to lick Dan clean.</p><p>The heat of the moment breaks when Arin can't help but scrunch up his face. Dan huffs out a laugh and dismounts, and he's quick to grab a towel to wipe off the mess he'd made. Arin splutters good-naturedly all the way through it until Dan says, “Oh, shut up, you big baby.” </p><p>“Next time I'll splooge all over <i>your</i> face, see if you don't whine about it.”</p><p>“I wouldn't mind.”</p><p>“Yeah right, you wouldn't even swallow the first time.”</p><p>“There was a lot more than I was expecting,” Dan says exasperatedly, but he's grinning. “There, you're clean.”</p><p>Arin shuffles his upper body up to a sitting position and eases the toy from his ass with a wince. It always feels weird to take it out when he's done. When Dan fucks him, he's always already going soft when he pulls out, but the toy is as firm as ever and Arin's oversensitive ass stretches wide one last time as the head slips free. Dan hands him another towel, and Arin wipes off the lube from his hand and wraps up the dripping toy before setting it back on the nightstand. </p><p>Dan scoots up next to him and kisses him on the cheek, oddly chaste after what they had just done. His smile is shy and sweet. “Jesus, Arin, you're incredible. Holy fuck. That was so hot.”</p><p>Arin laughs. “Fuck yeah it was.”</p><p>“You got any more kinks up your sleeve?” Dan lays back and props himself up on one elbow, his eyes eager. </p><p>“Shouldn't I be asking you?” Arin raises an eyebrow. “Fuckin' voyeur fetishist over here, pulling out that DP shit out of nowhere.”</p><p>Dan looks embarrassed. “I don't know even where that came from,” he confesses. “Watching you just got me really worked up, and I just – I didn't hold back.” </p><p>“I'm glad you didn't hold back.”</p><p>Dan gives him another shy smile. “Me too. I think we should do something like this again. I, um, I maybe have some new things I want to explore.”</p><p>“What, so you're just gonna go from Mister Vanilla to fuckin', BDSM master?” Arin demands, which makes Dan laugh too.</p><p>“You make me feel adventurous, okay?”</p><p>“Good.” Arin sits up and stretches. “I think I like you when you're adventurous.” </p><p>Dan grins proudly. “I guess I just really trust you, you know? I guess it makes it easier to try new things. I've never...there's never been anyone else that I've known for so long. If there's anything else you want me to do...”</p><p>“Oh, there is,” Arin promises, but then he makes a face. “But right now I'm covered in your jizz, and it's making it hard to think.”</p><p>“You are not. I wiped it off,” Dan protests.</p><p>“I can feel it.” Arin works his face around, scrunching it up until Dan giggles at him. “It's in my moustache.”</p><p>“Did you like it, though?” Dan asks. “You don't like stuff on your face, but – fuck, you seemed into it. I've never done that to anyone before.”</p><p>Arin feels his own face grow hot for once. “I liked that you just told me you were gonna do it,” he says. “Like I had no choice.”</p><p>“You looked good,” Dan says, his smile fading into a smirk. “Think I might do it again.”</p><p>“If you want,” Arin allows. “But I'm gonna go wash my face before it gets crusty.”</p><p>“That's fair.” Dan rolls out of bed gracelessly. “I'll go get us some water.”</p><p>Arin cleans himself up and washes the toy in the bathroom as Dan goes downstairs. When Arin comes out, the only light left in the room is the single flickering candle.  Dan's sitting up in bed, waiting for Arin. </p><p>By candlelight, Arin finds his way to the nightstand to drink half the water Dan had brought him. By then Arin's eyes have adjusted from the glare of the bright bathroom lights. He blows out the candle and joins Dan in his bed.</p><p>The smoke from the candle's burning embers mingles with the heavier smells of sex and sweat in the air. But when Dan takes Arin in his arms, all Arin can smell is Dan, the musty sweetness of his hair and the earthier fresh scent of his bare skin.</p><p>Arin likes the way Dan holds him after sex. He's always the big spoon, with one arm under the pillow beneath Arin's head and the other around Arin's waist. Sometimes Arin's self-conscious about the way his stomach looks when he's curled up on his side, pushing everything up into a soft roll, but Dan seems to like it. His big hand always splays out over his skin, and one of Dan's legs pushes between his soft thighs. Arin likes it because it feels possessive. He likes it because it feels right. It feels like home.</p><p>Arin waits, and Dan kisses the back of his neck just like he always does. He shivers in anticipation just before he feels the words puff warmly against his skin, the words that always make his arms prickle. </p><p>“Love you, big cat.” Always <i>big cat</i>, too. Apparently it wasn't just for when Arin was in distress  anymore. </p><p>Arin smiles drowsily. “Love you too.”</p>
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